Friday, June 28, 2013

On Being #2

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but get a load of this:
That's me.  Number two in the whole company!!! Woot!  Woot!
That's right, holding strong as the number two Personal Shopper for Sears/Kmart/ShopYourWay!  Paaaarty!  I mean, we've always known I could shop (just ask my husband), but it's still nice to see my name [almost] topping the charts.

If you haven't already, you should totally sign up as my client.  Then come back and finish reading this post.  It's pretty funny, if I do say so myself.

All signed up?  Great.

While I was celebrating my stronghold on the number two spot, I got to thinking about my history with number two.  Being number two.  Not poop.  Just wanted to clarify.

Try to keep your minds out of the gutter moving forward.  Bathroom humor is so 3rd grade.

Number two and I go way back.

Couldn't do it could you?

I need you to focus.

Let's take a trip down memory lane shall we?

1996 Miss New Jersey Teen Pageant: (apologies for the crappy photo quality)

That's me in the red (as if you couldn't tell).
I ended up being First Runner Up - aka Number Two.
1999 Lakeland High School Homecoming:

That's me CROWNING the Homecoming Queen because I lost by three votes.
(I'm only privy to this information because I was Student Council President)
Anyone surprised?  Didn't think so.
But, yes, not only did I lose, I had to crown the winner.
Let me tell you, Number Two aint always easy.
OMG Stop snickering.
I mean seriously, grow up.
2004 Seton Hall University Graduation: (and yet another crappy photo)

I missed out on Valedictorian by two one-thousandths of a point.
I took "Don't Take Him Hakim" for Intro to Philosophy freshman year.
I got a B.
I didn't know he was "Don't Take Him Hakim!"
My GPA would never recover.
Number two.
 Today June 28, 2013 on

Number Two.

The saga continues.  But, you know what?  All joking aside, second best isn't so bad after all.  

And honestly, neither is bathroom humor - it can still be pretty funny.  You may even want to reread this post with the eyes of your inner third grader - there's double entendres that I didn't even intend!  Ha! 

I'm pooped.  ;)  I'm going to bed.

Have a great weekend kiddos!



PS-  Let Number Two Work for You!   I think I've got a new slogan!  ;)

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  1. you were second in your college class? damn girl!

    1. Ha! Yes I was! Seton Hall didn't recognize Salutatorian at graduation, but I was "informed" that I came in a very close second. Le sigh.


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