Ugly Friends

I need some ugly friends.

I have the unfortunate habit of befriending gorgeous girls with hot bodies who win all-inlcusive vacations and take me with them.   Why does my life have to be so haaaaaard? ;)

I know, I know.  SHUT UP!

Seriously though, no one wants to be the schlumpy friend.   And even though I'm super excited for my trip, but I can't help but be a little panicked about having to be in a bathing suit next to this girl:

 

Oh yes, people I have to disrobe next to THAT.  Even though I don't anticipate receiving any offers to be the next 800lb lady at the circus, let's just say that after two children my abs sure as hell don't look like that.  Not. Even. Close.  I'm actually not even sure I have abs anymore.  Perhaps I gave birth to them too...  Hmmm, something to look in to...

In any event, I've been trying to find a bathing suit that reads "I gave birth nine months ago" across the tush, but haven't had any luck.  Maybe I should just get a cute coverup, or find some fat ugly people to sit next to so I look good... It's all relative people, all relative.  

Abs or no, one week from today I'll be sipping a pina colada under a palm tree in Mexico with one of my best friends in the whole world.  So what if she makes me look like a schlump?  As I've been known to say:  "Don't like it, don't look."

xoxo

Jenny

Now That I'm a Celebrity...

Well sort of...

Details here.

But seriously, now that I'm a celebrity, it's only right that I start traveling like one... for free.

Later this month I will be packing my bags, kissing the kids goodbye, telling my husband he's the best guy ever and boarding a plane to Mexico.  FOR FREE

How can this be, you ask?

Let me 'splain.

My best friend (who showers me in gifts...see: here and here) attended the Sparkle Speaks Benefit for Autism at the Brownstone hosted by Jacqueline Laurita of BRAVO's RHONJ and won the grand prize:  an all-inclusive trip for two to Mexico.  Well, guess what SHE'S BRINGING ME!  My parents are babysitting and I am going on a girls trip - the likes of which have not been see since...2006?!  Is that possible?  Was my last girl's trip Miami for my cousin's bachelorette?  If so, I AM WAY OVER DUE!

In any event, its all free, even airfare, and we even have a $750 resort credit for spa services!  Oh.  Baby.

Now for the tough decision:

Do we roll lesbo and stay at this couples only resort in Cancun?

Sun Palace, Cancun

Or do we drive an hour or so out to Riveria Maya and stay here?

Adventura Spa Palace

I know, I know - I'm faced with so many tough decisions.  Sometimes I worry I may crack under the pressure.   Did I mention both are all-inclusive and include airfare?  And spa treatments?  Do you hate me yet?

Hope your best friend wins a trip and takes you!

xoxo

Jenny

PS- Seriously though, where should we stay?