Guest Blogger!

I met our lovely guest blogger Jeannette about three years ago.  I was prego with kiddo number one and taught a bridal makeup class for her wedding.  We've kept in touch over the years through facebook and blogging and I've always appreciated her sense of humor.  I was thrilled when she accepted my offer to guest blog for Flower City Fashionista and offer some [humorous] fashion tips to my readers.  Hope  you crack up (pun intended) as much as I did!

CRACK HOUSE

By:  Jeannette Evans Maloy

Yes, we all know that crack, the street name given to cocaine that can be smoked, is often produced/bought/sold/used in old, burnt-out abandoned buildings commonly called CRACK HOUSES. These houses and the people who inhabit them are a real threat to our communities and society as a whole, but . . .
NOT NEARLY AS GREAT A THREAT AS THIS SORT OF CRACK HOUSE:

Clearly, this crack house is falling down and needs to be condemned. Following is a list of the Top 10 reasons exposed butt crack is completely unacceptable and why we CAN’T BE BOTHERED experiencing this in a civilized society.
#10 It’s gross.
#9 You must feel the draft, so there is no excuse not to pull your frigaroni pants up!
#8 If we can see your ass-crack-of-dawn then your underwear are either: (a) also too low (b) not being worn (c) choices a and b are both gross and so are you.
#7 Since we were little girls and boys we were told: “Don’t step on the crack, you’ll break your mother’s back.” Someone could definitely step on this. Yuck.
#6 If I saw this on the sidewalk while I was diving I would totally stare and that could cause a serious multi-car accident (which still wouldn’t even be worse than this display), all because you CAN’T BE BOTHERED wearing clothes that fit.
#5 Don’t even get me started on how short that darn sweater is too.
#4 Oh look at this - another one. The offensive crack shown here just doesn’t have the issue from #8 because her panty line is actually HIGHER (omg!) than her pants! The term underwear begins with the word UNDER for a reason.

#3 Very few things with cracks in them look good and your ass is not in the short list of “Things that Look Good with Cracks in Them!”
#2 Do you know that things can easily slip into cracks? Ya, well think about it.
#1 . . . And the number one reason we CANNOT BE BOTHERED with exposed butt crack:
Not only is it cracked - there’s a hole in it too! Trust me, your ass looks better IN the jeans!

Well I suppose the late, great Whitney Houston was right after all:  "crack is whack."

To read more of Jeannette's hilarious musings on life, fashion and everything in between, visit her blog:  Can't Be Bothered and let her know the Flower City Fashionista sent you.  :)