More Mexico Memories

Let's start today's Mexico recap with a short story.  Shall we?

Now as you read this I need you to imagine Antonio Banderas as the character of Puss in Boots reading the part of the resort employee.

Day two at the pool I am approached by a young gentlemen who works there.  He proceeds to say to me:  "We see you and your friend.  You walk like thissssss (he struts his stuff).  You have personality and style.  I like it.  We see you and we look at each other.  And we say:  they... are... fannnnnncy.

pause

I laugh and smile.

pause

"Twenty dollars?"

Look of horror.

"Just kidding."

I laugh nervously as I quickly walk away.

Yes he suggested that I was a hooker.  And he sounds EXACTLY like Puss in Boots.

Mull that one over for a minute...

.....

Here's a completely unrelated photo of me with a parrot on my head:

Ok ready to continue?

Great.

Despite the beautiful grounds and ocean front location (and help propositioning me for sex), the food was horrible.  Terrible.  Possibly THE WORST FOOD I've ever eaten.  That first night we arrived we skipped dinner (lucky us).  Saturday, we got dressed up and headed to El Greco expecting a five star meal, not the freezer burned fish stick trying to pass itself off as "Meditteranean Grouper."  Blech.  We walked out.  At least we looked good doing it.

Here are our evening wardrobe selections for that night:

Sunday we spent the morning at the pool, the afternoon at the spa, and geared up for another awful dinner.  We ate at an Italian restaurant.  The garlic bread reminding me of licking an ashtray or sucking on a charcoal brigette.  Either way, it was awful.  Can't I just have a beer and some chips and guacamole?  Is that too much for a girl to ask?

Anywho....This is what we wore:

Monday night (our last night) we try the Mexican place.  I mean we are in Mexico, can they really screw up Mexican food?  Oh they can.  They can.  We may or may not have eaten fileted iguana.  Let's just say that the flank steak had a "questionable" texture.  After gagging on the first bite, I look over to see Jeree trying to hide hers under her mashed potatoes.  I tell her "this is ridiculous" and then feign illness so we could escape from the dining room without having to tell the waitstaff, chef, and manager that there food was inedible.  Win.

Taken right after we escaped from the el rato special.

Thanks to the fine gourmet dining (read: shit show) we were anxious to get back to the states for some real FOOD.  So Tuesday we got up early, took in the last few rays of sunshine, and headed home.

Our Last Mexican Sunrise

At Cancun Airport.
Note:  Jeree's Alexander McQueen skull scarf cost more than my entire outfit.
Another Note:  Jeree hates my cowboy hat and wouldn't let me wear it at the pool.
I wore it at the airport just to annoy her.
Hey, that's what friends are for.

This is the bacon cheeseburger I housed upon arriving in Atlanta.
Grease never tasted so good.

Thankfully no one ended up with Montezuma's revenge and we returned home safely.  I came home to two sick kids.  Jeree returned (after being stuck in Atlanta for two days) to a hurricane-ravaged NJ, power outages, and gas shortages.  Vacation may be fun for a little while, but even though it may not always be perfect, there really is no place like home.

xoxo

Jenny

PS- Next week - how you can help aid in the Hurrican Relief effort and my fond memories of summer after summer at the Jersey Shore.

Two Tickets to Paradise

Two weeks ago I was here:

Riviera Maya Mexico

Sitting on these lounge chairs:

At this resort:

Aventura Spa Palace

With this girl:

Miss Jeree

Despite horrific food, questionable service, and a salon with ONE BLOWDRYER, we had a great time.  The weather was beautiful, the cocktails were flowing, and we had days upon days to just relax.

BFFs

Bathing Beauties

The "Coco Loco Girls"
We had to dance in front of the entire pool area and assist the entertainment staff in making thes tropical cocktails.
Let's just say there was a whole lot of shaking going on and I hope it doesn't end up on You Tube.

Day 2:  Relaxing on the sand. 

Paradise

Funny Story:
These two guys come up to us in the pool and open with:  "Where do you go to school?"
They proceed to tell us they are 19 and 20.
I pull my rock out from the depths of the water and say:  "I'm married with 2 kids."
The stunned children reply:  "We thought you were like 20-21."
Jeree says "Try adding 10 years to that."
Their disbelief was priceless.

Jeree

Moi

I'm a sexy beast, what can I say?

Jeree and I have been friends for half our lives, since we were fifteen, and honestly I don't think we act any differently than we did then.  She was hiding uneaten steak under her mashed potatoes, I was dancing like an ass in the lobby.  You've seen us posing on the rocks and you've seen me with my snorkel.  It was so nice to just be silly and feel like a teenager again.  No worries.  No responsibilities.  Just sand and sun with my very best friend.  Our two tickets to paradise might have been free, but those days in Mexico were priceless.

Love ya Smitty!

xoxo

Jenny

PS- More Mexico Memories coming your way tomorrow!

Hi There!

Oh, are you still here?

So sorry for being MIA this last week, I was in Mexico for five days, got home 1am on Halloween despite Hurricane Sandy to find I had a very sick baby on my hands.  We spent last night in the emergency room with Cooper who spiked a high fever and had difficulty breathing.   Thankfully they were able to get his fever down and his chest x-ray was clear.

The Little Patient

Needless to say, the blog is going to have to be on the back burner for a few more days.

I'm hoping to be back Monday with some Mexico trip recaps, an ode to my beloved Jersey Shore, and some fun fashion tips.

Stay tuned!

xoxo

Jenny

My Topless Model

Get your minds out of the gutter people!

I'm talking about a 9 month old baby for crying out loud!

Geesh!

So, as promised, here is Cooper's modeling debut:

**All photos taken by Fon Sakulsurarat at Kurt Brownell Studio.  

Ties available at Fahsye.**

I know I'm his mother, but don't you just want to squeeze him?  It's the chubby cheekers.  Love this little meatball!  

Smile kids, tomorrow is Friday! I'll be smiling EXTRA BIG because I'm leaving at 7am for MEXICO!

Try not to hate me and my super model self, super model baby, and free all expenses paid vacations... I know it's hard... but try ;)

xoxo

Jenny

Now That I'm a Celebrity...

Well sort of...

Details here.

But seriously, now that I'm a celebrity, it's only right that I start traveling like one... for free.

Later this month I will be packing my bags, kissing the kids goodbye, telling my husband he's the best guy ever and boarding a plane to Mexico.  FOR FREE

How can this be, you ask?

Let me 'splain.

My best friend (who showers me in gifts...see: here and here) attended the Sparkle Speaks Benefit for Autism at the Brownstone hosted by Jacqueline Laurita of BRAVO's RHONJ and won the grand prize:  an all-inclusive trip for two to Mexico.  Well, guess what SHE'S BRINGING ME!  My parents are babysitting and I am going on a girls trip - the likes of which have not been see since...2006?!  Is that possible?  Was my last girl's trip Miami for my cousin's bachelorette?  If so, I AM WAY OVER DUE!

In any event, its all free, even airfare, and we even have a $750 resort credit for spa services!  Oh.  Baby.

Now for the tough decision:

Do we roll lesbo and stay at this couples only resort in Cancun?

Sun Palace, Cancun

Or do we drive an hour or so out to Riveria Maya and stay here?

Adventura Spa Palace

I know, I know - I'm faced with so many tough decisions.  Sometimes I worry I may crack under the pressure.   Did I mention both are all-inclusive and include airfare?  And spa treatments?  Do you hate me yet?

Hope your best friend wins a trip and takes you!

xoxo

Jenny

PS- Seriously though, where should we stay?