Let's start today's Mexico recap with a short story. Shall we?
Now as you read this I need you to imagine Antonio Banderas as the character of Puss in Boots reading the part of the resort employee.
Day two at the pool I am approached by a young gentlemen who works there. He proceeds to say to me: "We see you and your friend. You walk like thissssss (he struts his stuff). You have personality and style. I like it. We see you and we look at each other. And we say: they... are... fannnnnncy.
pause
I laugh and smile.
pause
"Twenty dollars?"
Look of horror.
"Just kidding."
I laugh nervously as I quickly walk away.
Yes he suggested that I was a hooker. And he sounds EXACTLY like Puss in Boots.
Mull that one over for a minute...
.....
Here's a completely unrelated photo of me with a parrot on my head:
Ok ready to continue?
Great.
Despite the beautiful grounds and ocean front location (and help propositioning me for sex), the food was horrible. Terrible. Possibly THE WORST FOOD I've ever eaten. That first night we arrived we skipped dinner (lucky us). Saturday, we got dressed up and headed to El Greco expecting a five star meal, not the freezer burned fish stick trying to pass itself off as "Meditteranean Grouper." Blech. We walked out. At least we looked good doing it.
Here are our evening wardrobe selections for that night:
Sunday we spent the morning at the pool, the afternoon at the spa, and geared up for another awful dinner. We ate at an Italian restaurant. The garlic bread reminding me of licking an ashtray or sucking on a charcoal brigette. Either way, it was awful. Can't I just have a beer and some chips and guacamole? Is that too much for a girl to ask?
Anywho....This is what we wore:
Monday night (our last night) we try the Mexican place. I mean we are in Mexico, can they really screw up Mexican food? Oh they can. They can. We may or may not have eaten fileted iguana. Let's just say that the flank steak had a "questionable" texture. After gagging on the first bite, I look over to see Jeree trying to hide hers under her mashed potatoes. I tell her "this is ridiculous" and then feign illness so we could escape from the dining room without having to tell the waitstaff, chef, and manager that there food was inedible. Win.
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| Taken right after we escaped from the el rato special. |
Thanks to the fine gourmet dining (read: shit show) we were anxious to get back to the states for some real FOOD. So Tuesday we got up early, took in the last few rays of sunshine, and headed home.
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| Our Last Mexican Sunrise |
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At Cancun Airport.
Note: Jeree's Alexander McQueen skull scarf cost more than my entire outfit.
Another Note: Jeree hates my cowboy hat and wouldn't let me wear it at the pool.
I wore it at the airport just to annoy her.
Hey, that's what friends are for.
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This is the bacon cheeseburger I housed upon arriving in Atlanta.
Grease never tasted so good. |
Thankfully no one ended up with Montezuma's revenge and we returned home safely. I came home to two sick kids. Jeree returned (after being stuck in Atlanta for two days) to a hurricane-ravaged NJ, power outages, and gas shortages. Vacation may be fun for a little while, but even though it may not always be perfect, there really is no place like home.
xoxo
Jenny
PS- Next week - how you can help aid in the Hurrican Relief effort and my fond memories of summer after summer at the Jersey Shore.
